The Invisible Papers Read online

  Let’s get this show on the road! One probably said that already somewhere but shows aren’t continuous nor forever. Sometimes they end and tear down, pack up and move on to the next town to do it all over again! Consider today the next town. Wait, not far enough… The next country! Possibly even a whole new continent! How does that sound buddy? Everyone likes new continents, they’re a fresh start on a magnum level. Do you know what would be even more awesome? A fresh new show on an entirely new world! A different planet than the one we know… Where can one buy the next ticket off this popsicle stand? This heap of fleas! It’s easier to confront change if you turn all that you are leaving into an inferior and negative element. It is unlikely to be the healthiest or most honest way of transitioning but it works for us!

  Here’s to you! Here’s to them! Here’s to time running out on all of us and pushing us and our guilt buttons into doing more and more and more. We have no choice here, in this matter we are absolutely imprisoned! Even if one could escape they’d have no idea where to go and he or she probably wouldn’t even want to leave! They are like one of those gorillas in captivity that is so accustomed to being a slave that his or her cage is unlocked but they still remain.

  Such intense feelings come about. One basically invested weeks and weeks of mindshare into a complete fiction even though it was filled with beauty! One actually shed a tear and felt a deep welling up inside him or her. Literally it was a wish for this moment not to be, a wish from his or her depths to not be witnessing this occasion. Would you mind turning back time or simply ceasing this event from existence altogether? All things must come to an end whether good or bad, they do end. Oh how celebrated you are and will be. One is proud to be standing here leading the march, at least in their heart. You will never die as long as we shall live! One’s memory is the reel, their words and voice is the projector, we are the canvas. Let one take just a bit more of your precious time to illustrate this point. Let one try his or her hardest to hit this home. Has it worked?

  He or she needs to keep busy and occupied and thoughtful or else their aching heart will tear them apart! So here they are, repeating any old trick he or she can think of and moving their fingers attached to bones, muscles, neurones and anything else one missed! It’s absolutely beautiful, the angle and colour and shot that a camera could display when in good hands that is. When done right, the view transmitted to the audience is magical and can be transcendental! It provides solace! There is nothing else one can do to mask or destroy this feeling they’re having. It’s all a pastime, one big hobby, one big lie! The only way to grow is to feel. If the only way to move forward is to crawl through the glass laid out before us, so be it.

  Sitting in the dark with a dim light in the distance, it’s beige. It’s a bit damp and he or she thinks there’s a smell in the air because of it. This happens every so often, sometimes once a week. It’s tolerable but never comfortable, even bittersweet perhaps. The level of acceptance can vary depending on whether you’ve had enough water to drink and food to eat that day. Intoxicants never work. He or she thinks they’ll use this time to catch up on their very favourite stories. A detective and a journalist alone in a cabin. Want to hear more? Sorry, you’re going to have to discover it for yourself, get lost in it yourself. He or she likes to keep their best kept secrets just the way they are, secret. The colour is gray, the wind is cold and the wardrobe is black. One is home!

  One is absolutely done with feeling guilty. They don’t like it and they refuse to perpetuate this self-mutilation of the spirit. We choose to feel comfortable with who we are and we’ll also avoid looking for approval and reassurance in this especially when we already feel it within ourselves. If one feels fine why should he or she confirm such a thing with you? No, thank you.

  If only they could see us now, wasting pages like the rainforest is at full health, just look at us now! Withdrawal from too much TV. Squeezing words in only where it is comfortable to do so otherwise one just won’t be able to continue. Sure, one may run out of road soon but they’ve already got their eye on the next interchange and the exit on the horizon!

  One is liberally filling up areas which could handle more weight, all for comfort they say! Consider it a tad rushed though, more like a spice that can be frivolously added without harming the dish but sparing use still delivers an agreeable taste. One is trying to keep it fluid here at a nice pace, let’s keep it real, creative and fresh.

  Chapter 14

  They’re keeping it real, keeping it righteous. They’ll deliver guilt onto you thicker than religious guilt ever might, similarly how a priest gets his minions to do his bidding. One loves the feeling of settling into a session of transcription, writing or research. Especially when using a clean pad and pen on a writing surface well maintained and free of clutter and even smartly colour matched! Let one sit under lamp light by a window at night wearing a robe, freshly showered, full of hope and on a full stomach no less!

  Ah yes, it’s the ideal time to make new decisions and reconsider old ones. Metal, writing, Metal and writing or any pastime really! So many things simply go fantastically with Metal. One is not ashamed, he or she just brings out what needs to emerge. Trying his or her best to empty out, pour out onto the sidewalk all that’s left from or all that is! There is no specification as to what defines “from”, there is no source here. There may not even be an end. No end and no beginning and no highfalutin philosophy following close behind it either.

  This is great guys and we should do this more often! Let’s make it a habit, a weekly get together! Wonderful.

  We gave it a shot but it’s time to ask for directions. We need some mindless tales to help us stay awake tonight on this lonely road, let’s hope we can make it in one piece. They’ve got some weapons to keep them safe, do you? Are you willing, ready and able to use them? To do what it takes to protect yourself and stay alive? Survive? Let’s wait and see!

  Soon winter will fall and snow will come, they can’t wait. Let it cover them! Bury him or her alive! Let one die in a snowflake coffin cold and blue, white and humid. Let’s turn that frown upside down with an ice cake or with snowball desserts. Nonsense or “below freezing terminology”. There’s absolutely no way one can break away from this literary theme for the next five minutes.

  Let them tell you a secret, okay? All right then, they’ll get back to you with it in about a month, just leave your coordinates at the desk on your way out. Okay that’s enough, please leave him or her alone, it’s time to check out. One admires your positivity but he or she doesn’t share your attitude. Good day Sir.

  One admits that they’re totally addicted to nonaddictive substances, activities and ideas. He or she just can’t refuse this or you, right now or ever. There is no peace in them or around them and no matter how hard one looks he or she is unable to find it. Maybe you could help them? They’ll just leave his or her coordinates at your desk on their way out and hope for the best! Now is the time to take advantage of your kindness and generosity. Here is the playing field where your dreams and morals will be corrupted. Everything you shared with him or her will now be used against you! Part of you knew this outcome were possible yet you persevered anyway in the hopes they’d change their mind or forget about it or simply be nice to you. You were wrong, so sorely mistaken that you’ll never be fooled the same way again!

  Let’s give the peanut gallery something to gawk about! One loves to laugh (laugh at you) and one loves to be mean (mean to you). If he or she could destroy you at the push of a button they just might do it, even though it would end you and end “us”, one just can’t resist the prospect of seeing you succumb to complete and utter destruction! If you have a better idea or simply a wonderfully charming reason why he or she shouldn’t kill you now, please share it with all of us.

  They love winter. This winter seems like it will be brutal though, so cold it could hurt the sides of one’s face, from his or her ear down to their teeth. It burns and burns like his or her head is about to explo
de, it feels like a fire. It gets him or her angry and then it passes. Pain is directly linked to negative thought. Didn’t you know? It’s true. Pay attention next time, unless you get lost in it and only realize what’s happened after you’ve come out the other side. That’s fine too, just keep trying and one day you’ll see the dark world that pain brings you. You’ll be okay, promise!

  Let’s, let’s, let’s, get the party started. Keep the lights on and the music loud. Use the same words over and over because we’ve got no creativity left. He or she is going to have to borrow some hope and wisdom from the dealer on the corner, he charges a lot of interest though. Nothing is free. One could always pay full price but they’ll have to sell a few things to dust up the capital.

  How are you feeling lately? They’ve got an idea but you might not like it. How about we send you a list of our demands by mail? We promise to use the nicest stationery available!

  They’re basically in pain again and again. Squeezing something from a stone is pretty much their entire daily existence. Maybe not, sometimes it’s not, one gets these swings you see. One doesn’t ride on swings yet he or she still manages to get taken for a ride. The rest of you sit back and watch. Sometimes they’ve got to hang on real tight because things can get hectic, chaotic, fuzzy.

  One wishes they were a vampire. One wishes they were a wizard. It would be nice to be Harry Potter. One doesn’t know which vampire they’d like to be, any would be fine really. It’s got to be a mean one though and not a sappy sparkling one.

  One loves photographs and everything about them. Taking them, filing them, editing them, organizing them, looking at them, sharing them. If one could just scan something then that too would get him or her excited. Sometimes anyway, it’s a little off-topic but close enough, it makes one feel like some kind of investigator! One loves the vibe of the whole thing. His or her biggest fear is that their batteries will burn out right in the middle of a shoot. Wouldn’t you agree that it’s quite the legitimate fear? He or she likes to live on the edge though. Let’s have a big smile!

  For the umpteenth time he or she has deleted their profile from a dating site. A social network of sorts. Some of them lend themselves to quicker real world meetings but some are just black holes, you could get lost in them for months and have nothing to show for it. One wishes they’d all crash and burn. If there were a way to take down those annoying wastes of webspace they’d gladly be the ones to push the red button. “Let me at ‘em!”

  Why does one have a headache every single night? Well not exactly every night but at the most curious and strange times and for unknown reasons! Let’s attach ourselves to fences and wait for the bulldozers to run us over, overheating with a pounding heart. Could one possibly break out of this body? There is a shell, a prison cell and maybe there’s a doorway one can step through to make a run for it. Are they too fat? Is their body imperfect? Are they awry or rebellious to society’s ideal standard? If only that really mattered, why don’t we pray to all the gods we know for death to come to those standards? Let’s. Again with that word, has one run out of words? Is an intelligent vocabulary no longer available to him or her? Limited, is one not digging deep enough? What about reaching too deep? Do you think that the flightiness of creativity and a muse on the loose is the only way to go? Probably. One seems to be partial to that method. Take a walk down the road and reach that point where the land meets the sea. Where the sun meets space and the moon meets the night sky.

  They’re back! Take a picture of the two of us please. We’re all dressed up but admittedly a little bent. The good and the bad; dichotomies. Some words, oh those addictive words, they pop up and peek in through the cracks of your bedroom window. Even your bathroom window if that’s the only view into your home that’s not facing a brick wall!

  Inspiration is hard to come by. Is inspiration hard to come by? Who can one send this question to in order to receive a truly correct response? Why don’t we really look at the heart of the matter? Placing a question containing any old type of wording into any old type of publication in order to give it clout will definitely fool a whole lot of people! From one thing to another, eager to put pen to paper but preoccupied with that paper’s aesthetics. It’s all about the vibe, the right effects will allow for a more effective springboard, one that really lends you the strongest struts and pillars of support to keep moving forward. Bring one back to the 1920’s please, only for an hour or two! It better be a speakeasy by the way, where one can drink some prohibited liquor and sing along to good ditties. It’s funny how “coloured people” provided the arts in many instances while whites would consume it all and pay less for it than they likely should have!

  Thank you for understanding, we’ve got a deadline to reach here! One can’t waste anymore time with you, he or she has laid there time and time again being barraged by your incessancy. They’d literally pull the covers over their own head, drown their face into a pillow and wait it out. You are the biggest bully one has ever faced and the rub is that you’ve been there since birth! The worst one of all even though you’ve been there the longest but only now he or she can see you for what you really are! All they need to do is just look at you smack dead in the eye. Your rocks and twigs and dirt fly by, never touching them. Not a speck ever got onto his or her clothes yet one had, for so many years and so many instances, masochistically dodged into your wrath! If only one knew then what one knows now! He or she is standing still, watching you wither away and die, burning out. The flame without oxygen will disintegrate.

  They don’t need you scientists out there to nitpick at every inaccurate assessment he or she makes! One likes to use words creatively and sometimes the round pegs don’t always fit into the square holes so they need to jam those buggers in. Stomp on them with his or her boot, hammer those stubborn nuisances into place just to get by in this crazy world. Sure if you pay close attention you’ll see all their flaws but they’d rather not be flawless if it means turning into a stuffed shirt like you. You’re so boring! So rigid! One can’t stand it! They don’t want it. Thank you for understanding but if you don’t then no one can help you. It’s none of his or her business! Cheers to all those who’ve fallen and hooray for better days. Let’s all celebrate the ones who’ve died trying because that’s where all their strength is derived. Here’s to the hermits and the outcasts and the losers. Keep breathing! Show them who’s staying alive!

  One is going to run for this final stretch right here while listening to fantastic melodies buzzing around in his or her head. Humming them back and conducting an invisible orchestra, trying to keep that vibration going. As long as one can keep it they’ll fight for it. They’ll fight to the death for it! It’s magical and amazing how a single note or a single voice can strike that heartstring, in the right combination of course, and send you off to another planet on a one-way ticket with no thoughts or cares as to how you’ll return!

  Let one stay there forever if this is what it feels like! They don’t even need to pack a bag, just give them freedom!

  Chapter 15

  It’s not that one has anything against vegans. It’s not that one has anything against a different race. It’s just that one doesn’t want to be told what to eat or how to live or who to love. One doesn’t want to get into this too much with you. It’s a personal subject however there are elements that shouldn’t or rather can’t really stay lumped in the “Personal” or “Private” categories for very long. At some point you’ll have to share your beliefs with somebody and it may well be with somebody who’s the object of those beliefs. At the very least this can be considered a great test, can you fathom this situation? Perhaps you’ve already experienced it?

  It’s very important to be able to formulate a belief for yourself but taking it too seriously could be a detriment and any belief you’ll concoct must at one point or another be voiced or even defended. If this never comes to pass then what you have instead is a private thought and possibly even a prejudice that may eat away inside you. For
better or worse, voice yourself, say what’s on your mind and stand up for what you believe in. Is this licence to step on somebody else? Crush somebody else? One could say yes and one could say no but it’s a much more valuable question when posed within.

  It’s time we start supporting the seal hunt because there are just some things that need to be stood up for. Tradition may not win the hearts of many in this day and age but something can be said for a people’s way of life. Do you know how expensive it is to ship vegetables to the Arctic? By the time they get there they aren’t even that fresh anymore! How do you expect a Native people to survive the harsh winters eating vegetables and wearing cheap thin fabric made in China? No, we need to step back from the liberal left-wing agenda and let people be. One isn’t going to preach anymore about this but something had to be said. A message can travel to the most unexpected places and via the most surprising means. Vis-à-vis this piece of literature. Is it literature? Until someone says otherwise he or she will grab the flag and run all the way home with it!

  They’re just going to start filling up space now, you’re at their whim and they don’t care if you suffer! It’s time to get sadistic and test your patience to the absolute limit! Do you believe them? It’s entirely possible that they’re lying through their teeth! The funny thing is you won’t know until you know. That means that the only way to find out if one is bluffing is to stick with it and keep reading. Bluffing, it’s an interesting phenomenon, or would you consider it a tactic? What about a tool? If someone were to push you to follow through on a promise or a threat, “calling your bluff” as it is dubbed by some, would it prove wildly successful or awfully disastrous? One’s philosophy is, “Do not posture unless you’re ready, willing and able to deliver.” This may prove harmonious for you in life.